Stupid Shoes
by The Unnamed One
Summary: Bella works in a department store in Santa’s Workshop as an elf in the upcoming weeks to Christmas. She meets a certain bronze-haired gentleman and they might just hit it off. For the Epic T Rated Contest, in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal. OOC, AU/AH
1. Stupid Shoes

**Epic 'T' Rated Contest**

**1.** No lemons. Must be rated 'T.'  
**2.** Has to have a line or reference to a cannibal.  
**3**. Has to have a line or reference to a fireman.  
**4**. All canon pairings.  
**5**. Has to be a one-shot, but is allowed to be continued once the contest is finished.  
**6**. Must copy/paste these rules to the top of your submission. Two entries per person. Collaborations acceptable.  
**7**. Must PM Bronzehairedgirl620 to alert me of your entry so we can add your story to the C2 if it fits the requirements.

**A/N:** This has been unfinished on my laptop for… forever. The Epic T Rated Contest gave me an excuse to finish and post it. OOC, AU/AH.

**Summary:** Bella works in a department store in Santa's Workshop as an elf in the upcoming weeks to Christmas. She meets a certain bronze-haired gentleman and they might just hit it off. For the Epic T Rated Contest.

**Disclaimer:** _Twilight_ isn't mine. If it was, I wouldn't be sitting on my bed with my laptop. I'd be lounging in LA… with my laptop.

*******

**Stupid Shoes**

"Shit!" I cursed as I hit my face on the ladder that I was halfway up not two minutes ago. I kept my eyes on the red patent stilettos that Alice Brandon, my nearly life-long best friend, had forced me to wear. Personally, I thought they were garish; even worse when coupled with the bright green tights I wore as part of my 'elf' uniform.

"Silly Bella!" Alice chirped, grabbing my wrists. "Are you okay?" She helped me rise to the inhuman height that I could achieve with these stupid shoes.

"Okay? Alice, I think I just broke my nose because of these _stupid_ shoes!" I held my arms by my side as I moved to the counter and began folding paper. I was _not_ going to risk decorating that tree again if it meant that ladder.

"_Leave. The. Shoes. Out. Of. It."_

I threw my arms up in the air, nearly losing balance in the process. "Alice! I just fell down a ladder!"

She snorted. "Bella, you'd have done that anyway."

My brow furrowed. She was right, as much as I hated to admit it. I was possible the _biggest_ klutz in the world, and had the ability to trip over thin air on a flat surface. I shouldn't be trusted with a ladder. I muttered a curse under my breath and snipped furiously at the paper in my hands. Snowflakes were harmless to make, right? How could I possible hurt myself doing this?

Easy; the intercom feedback startled me and I fell into the Christmas tree. "For Christ's Sake!" I yelled into the branches. "I hate these shoes!"

Alice pulled me up. "But they add _at least_ another three inches to your legs! You're on fire, girl!"

I couldn't help but giggle at the way Alice made the sentence sound. She sounded honestly enthusiastic about those things I called legs. "Whatever." I turned to survey the demolition. "Oh crap." I looked at the tree that I spent the day attempting to decorate.

The branches were sticking up in random directions; the ornaments had smashed into glass shards on the floor, draped in glitter and streams; tinsel had found its way around my own neck and all in all, the tree was a disaster. I had spent hours on that tree!

"Alice! It—look at—the tree!" I gasped, feeling heat rush to my face as I scrambled to the festive mess.

"It's fine," she told me simply.

I raised an eyebrow, "Alice," I said, my voice slow as if I were talking to a four-year-old. "I just killed the tree."

She scoffed, "Bella, it's made of plastic. You can't kill a plastic tree."

"Says you," I muttered under my breath.

The poor tree. I really had worked hard on him—her—_it_, and I was proud of what I achieved. _Had_ achieved.

"Calm down, Bella. Now let's get the tree back up before Terrence comes back."

I sighed and agreed with Alice; it would be best to get the tree back up before our boss returned from his lunch break. I was careful to bend over properly so that I didn't fall again and also, with the shortness of this felt elfin dress, I wanted to make sure I didn't make a fool of myself and flash my ass again.

When the tree was upright, I very slyly asked Alice to sweep up the glass from the ornaments, for fear that I would fall over if I tried. Or never get back up. She complied and skittered around on the floor whilst I detangled myself from the tinsel and draped it back on the tree. It was slowly starting to resemble something close to what I had accomplished, minus the ornaments.

I decided that I was happy enough with the tree to leave it and buy replica ornaments from the nearest store, so I trotted away very awkwardly in these idiotic shoes.

On my return, I saw that Alice had her boyfriend, Jasper, in her tight grasp. She stood on her toes to reach his face; even so, he craned his neck down to meet the kiss. I felt a pang of jealousy run through my veins; I felt nothing for Jasper, I just envied their relationship. I had little luck with men. Sure, I'd had boyfriends before, but there was never the special guy, tingles and everything, that Alice had found.

Lingering behind Jasper was a guy who looked a bit awkward; the gooseberry. He had an array of dark bronze locks that glinted in the light and even from where I was standing, the most amazing green eyes I had ever seen.

I felt my breath catch in my throat. _Calm, Bella, _I internally scolded myself. _Just a guy… a really, really hot guy._

The guy was looking up at the ceiling, squinting awkwardly and running his right hand through his silky tresses.

I slowed down my pace; these shoes combined with that sexiness would definitely make me fall over. When I reached the loved-up pair and the gooseberry, I almost _did_ fall over. Up close, that guy was _amazing_. His jaw was chiselled into a flawless shape, nose unbearably straight, his lips both full and thin, and his eyes… those eyes were amazing. His face seemed to fit all the correctly 'desired' proportions.

I smiled awkwardly and set the box of decorations on the counter, taking the lid off carefully, as not to smash another set. I took out one of the baubles and placed it on the tree branch. I went on to do this with another five identical items and then went on to the stars and streamers. Finally convinced that the tree was sparkly enough, I took a step back, admiring my handiwork. A small smile spread on my lips.

"Oh my gosh, you finished the tree!" Alice squeaked from behind me. I turned around to see that she had broken the kiss with Jasper (finally) and that he and the other guy were deep in conversation unknown.

I smiled at Alice. "Yeah,"

"It's freakin' beautiful!" she told me, pulling me into a hug. I returned the gesture, proud that I hadn't gone too overboard with the glitter. When she pulled away, she had a toothy grin on her face. "Seriously Bella, you should be proud. Oh!" She said, turning to Jasper and the green-eyed hottie. "Bella, this is Edwin, Jasper's cousin."

"Edward," the guy cut in, correcting Alice. A rare sight: Alice blushed.

"Edwin sounds better," Alice shrugged. "Ed_win_, this is Bella. Bella, Edwin."

I jutted out my red-gloved hand and held it in front of Ed…ward? He took it quickly and shook it.

Uh.

At first, I though I had just gotten an electric shock from the static or something, but then I put that possibility aside. It wasn't an electric shock; they only last an eighth of a second or something. This… current… continued to surge through my veins moments after he'd let go. It wasn't a painful experience—it was actually quite nice—but it _did_ shock me. It caused my breath to catch in my throat _again_ and I could feel my heart hammering against my chest much faster than usual… a small grin spread across my face.

"Pleasure to meet you," his voice—and oh! That voice!—snapped me out of the hand-shake-induced trance. "Bella."

I beamed uncontrollably. "You too," I began. "Ed…win?"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "It's Edward." Seriously, that voice of his would be the death of me. It was so smooth, so velvety… it seemed to be the kind of voice that you'd hear in one of those really sensual ice cream commercials.

"EDWIN!" Alice chimed in.

"No, it really is Edward." The look on my face must have been either one of confusion or disbelief, as he dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a brown leather wallet. After a moment of rummaging, he retrieved his driving licence and showed me that his name was, in fact, Edward. Edward Cullen.

"I believe you, and now I know that you were born in Alaska." I smiled.

He widened his eyes with a grin on his face, "Yeah, but I moved to Chicago after about six months."

Jasper snorted. "Hah, a six-month-old Eddie… it's hard to imagine, that's all."

Alice joined in with their laughter. I smiled timidly, not knowing what would be so hilarious about Edward as a six-month old baby. Inside joke, maybe?

"Okay, enough about my baby-ness." Edward chuckled. I grinned and hopped up onto the counter, going back to cutting out snowflakes.

I was in an unusually chirpy mood, I realised, when I found myself whistling. It wasn't even a very Christmassy song that I whistled; it was the Chihuahua song.

"Doo, do, do, do, do! Chihuahua! Doo, do, do, do, do! Chihuahua!" I hopped off the counter when I realised Alice had begun dancing the Chihuahua dance. I was trying to hold back the giggles as we kept on with the foolish dance. "Ooh, Chihuahua! CHIHUAHUA!"

"I'm walking in the street, and the moon shines bright!" I sang—terribly, I might add—nearly falling… Stupid shoes.

"A little melody keeps feeling on my mind tonight, I gotcha!" Alice chirped in with her own perfect voice.

"It's the song about Chihuahua, yeah, that's cool alright!" We sang together, bursting into giggles.

To my utter astonishment, Jasper began singing along. "It was fun, and a life without sorrow feels young and when you think about tomorrow… Say YO!"

Jasper kept singing. "You taught him the song?" I asked Alice, but when I turned to see her, I saw that her face was just as confused as mine was.

"No…" She shook her head, her brow furrowing.

"Chihuahua here, Chihuahua there, everybody wants it everywhere! Sing it loud and life can be so easy…!"

Swoon. Edward was singing. Swoon… again.

I couldn't hold back my giggles anymore. Seriously. The most handsome guy I had ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes on was singing about how Chihuahuas are the source of all things splendid.

Alice was also giggling, but she pulled herself into a kiss with Jasper. Now _I _was the gooseberry. I breathed a light laugh, grinning at Edward like a fool. I decided that I would get some work done, so I propped myself back on the counter and folded some more of the glittery paper into triangles. I was still whistling the Chihuahua song when I felt slightly uneasy. I looked up to find Edward staring at me.

I looked down quickly before my blush could materialise. Edward was looking at my… chest. I was surprised, flattered, and disgusted at once. Surprised because I couldn't expect Edward to like me that way; flattered for obvious reasons; and disgusted because… well, I don't know. I suppose it's something to do with being the police chief's daughter.

I unfolded the snowflake slowly, but I jumped out of my skin at the feedback of the tannoy. Why couldn't they sort out the sound system?!

I glanced at the ripped perfection in my hand. Urgh, I was proud of that one, too.

I took out another piece of glitter card and folded it carefully. Cutting intricate designs in the card, my tongue stuck out of my mouth in concentration.

I began cutting in random half triangles before I started on the slightly more intricate curlicues. After repeating the process a fair few times, I unfolded them and looked at my handiwork. Smiling, I grabbed the fishing wire and started threading the snowflakes onto the string. I let out a little breath of relief when I finally finished them.

"Perfect," I grinned and carefully stood up. I began to hum along to the song playing over the speakers—for mid December, there weren't many Christmassy songs on the radio. "Young hearts, run free… never be hung up, hung up like my man and me… do-do…"

I stopped singing when I felt Alice's gaze on my back. I looked up, as if I were trying to look at my brain, and internally scolded myself. I seemed to be doing a lot of that today.

Turning, I found Alice, Jasper, and Edward all staring at me with amused expressions, their eyes wide. I rolled my eyes. "Alice, don't act like you've never seen me sing before."

Her mouth opened and closed again before she actually spoke. "You didn't fall!"

"What?" My voice was losing its oomph quickly.

Jasper smiled. "You were dancing, Bella. Up a ladder."

"I didn't fall?!" I felt a pathetic grin spread over my face, pushing my cheeks up. I jumped at Alice and threw her into a hug. "I DIDN'T FALL!"

"Calm down, Bella," Alice's voice squeaked. "Cant—breathe,"

I pulled myself back from her quickly, stumbling. Stupid shoes. I felt myself blush and held her at an arm's distance, grinning like a lunatic. "Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't fall," I grinned and tapped her on the nose. I went back to singing the song on the radio, which had reached its second chorus.

I overheard—I _swear_ I wasn't eavesdropping—Alice, Jasper and Edward talking behind me as I worked on wrapping the empty boxes with silver wrapping paper to stuff under the tree.

"So you're coming over after work?" Alice asked, I assumed to Jasper.

"Uh, yeah, if that's okay…" I was surprised to hear Edward's voice answer.

"Of course it is! Oh, what do you want me to cook for dinner? Or should we go out?"

Jasper snorted. "You? Cook? Don't you remember last time I so much as let you near an oven?"

"Yes…" Alice muttered and joined me in wrapping the empty boxes. I smiled at the memory.

"Dude, what happened last time she was near and oven?" Edward wanted to know.

I could hear a smile in Jasper's voice, "She got confused and then walked away, leaving behind her a fire that she 'forgot' to put out."

I chuckled. "Ruined my kitchen," I shot a sideward glare at Alice, still smiling. She simply stuck her tongue out at me and made a 'nerr' noise.

Shaking my head, I stuck down the last piece of tape and tossed the present under the tree. I smiled at it before looking around for other things to do; today was the only day we had to decorate the Christmassy part of the store before Santa came in tomorrow.

The silver ribbon glinted in the light. I sighed and grabbed the roll of ribbon and a pair of scissors. I sat for however long curling the silver stands and listening to the conversation around me.

"So are we staying in, or…?" Alice pressed.

"I don't mind," Edward told her. "I'm up for anything."

"Just for the love of God, don't let Alice cook," Jasper snorted.

I bit my lip. "I don't mind cooking…?"

Alice grinned. "Great! So it's settled. Bella will cook. Oh, I can't wait…" She trailed off, still talking.

"It's just food, Alice. No need to get so excited…" I rolled my eyes. Admittedly, I was a better cook than Alice… but without sounding rude, that isn't hard. She forgot about a fire, for crying out loud. "So what do you guys want? So you know, I can stop off at the store on the way home."

"Um… What about that meatloaf you made the other day? That was just… Mmm."

I nodded at Alice with a sceptical look. "Sure. Meatloaf it is, then. Oh, who's coming? Just so I, you know, buy enough."

Alice rolled her eyes at me; I gave her a 'what?' look which she ignored. "Well there's us, obviously, Jasper, Edwin—"

"Ed_ward_." He cut in.

"Whatever," Alice shook her head. "Um… Em and Rose might come over."

"So six?" I clarified.

"Six it is." I turned around, tripping as I did so, smiling to myself. Stupid shoes.

*******

"Shit!" My cry was muffled as I hollered out in the pain of the mince burning my face. I ran the cloth under the cold tap for a few second and held it to my face. All in all, meatloaf in your eye is a very painful experience

I began to greaseproof my dish when I heard the doorbell go. I groaned in frustration and turned on the tap _again_ to wipe off the lard I had on my hands. The doorbell chimed again, and I shouted back, "Just a sec!"

I went to the door, wiping my hands on a dishcloth as I did so, and opened it. Emmett and a very pregnant Rosalie were standing there, grins on their faces despite the seasonal rain.

I grinned back at them, "Come in, _do_ come in," I stepped away from the door and held it wider for them to get past.

Emmett looked like he was trying not to laugh; I raised an eyebrow at him. "Bella," He lifted his hand to his face. "You've got something… here." He pointed to my nose. "And here," he moved his hand so that I was blind in one eye. "…And here…"

"Emmett, that's my whole face." I shook my head and glanced in the mirror. Admittedly, there was some sauce on my face but only a small amount. I wiped it off with the dishcloth and turned back to them. I let out an exasperated smile, "Sorry about that. Uh, I'm not quite finished preparing… would you like to sit down? Or something to drink? Obviously we have things for you too, Rose and—" I cut myself off, knowing that I was rambling. I smiled with an apology before leading Rose and Emmett through to the lounge. I left Emmett to browse the CD collection before stumbling back to the kitchen—stupid shoes.

When I got to the kitchen doorway, I took a small step back with a gasp. Edward—the bronze haired, green eyed hottie from this morning—was standing in my kitchen, wearing Alice's pink and white polka dot apron. He looked utterly ridiculous, but this _was_ the first time I had seen him without a jacket on. Through his navy shirt, I could see the outline of his chest—so _toned_ yet not overly, unlike Emmett—and his biceps… I had to cover up the slight moan that escaped my throat with a giggle.

He turned to look at me and blushed slightly. In that moment I realised how _human_ Edward actually was. Until now—the some twelve hours that I had known him—Edward was just this supremely hot fellow that I was swooning over. He was the guy that I was too busy taking in the structure of his perfect face when I should have been listening to what he was saying. Now that I saw he was embarrassed to see me giggling at him, I felt a pang of guilt for being so thoughtless. Then again, I was sure that he would prefer the giggle to the other noise that might have come out of my mouth.

"Uh, sorry… Alice let me in earlier. I smelt burning." He tried not to make eye contact with me, but when he finally did, I felt that same electric current that I did in the store this morning, this time slightly weaker.

"Oh, don't worry… And thanks. I don't think I could have handled another fire." I tried to joke.

He smiled and looked down at the pinafore style apron he was wearing, blushing again. "Uh… It was the only one I could find."

I looked down at my own apron and realised how feminine Alice's was compared to my own. I was wearing a dark blue satin dress that Alice had picked out for me. It clung to my body and was very close around my legs until my knees (which were covered in black tights) making it harder to walk safely. I felt overdressed, but if I stayed close to Alice, I might be able to blend in. I wore matching shoes, equally stupid to the ones for the elf costume. By now, the balls of my feet were covered in blisters. The apron that covered it all was just white with a black hem and pocket—covered in meatloaf stains. I'd need a new apron.

I untied my own apron before I walked across the room. Edward turned back to the dish; he had already layered all the components and was grating some cheese for the top. I tugged on the string at the back of his apron and he turned to take it off properly, before raising and eyebrow at me.

"I thought you might want a slightly less feminine apron," I smiled as I pulled his over his neck. He lifted it off when he got too tall for my reach. I handed him mine with a light chuckle as I picked Alice's out of his own hands.

He mumbled a thank you and tied my apron around his back. I fumbled with Alice's crazy Velcro and strings fastening system. Edward smiled and ushered my hands out of the way, doing my apron up for me.

I smiled at him and looked at the meatloaf in the dish. Oh. I had nothing to do now except put it in the oven. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I opened the oven and put the dish onto the top shelf.

Edward chuckled but made no move to take off his apron. "I'll garlic up this bread."

"No, seriously, you're a guest; you shouldn't be working in my kitchen."

"_Your_ kitchen?" He smirked. "And don't worry. I enjoy cooking."

I smiled. "So do I," We held a silent gaze for a moment, which I broke. "Anyway, you don't need to 'garlic up' that bread for at least half an hour."

He shrugged and blushed, finally giving up and shrugged out of his apron.

When we got into the lounge, I found that Emmett had put on something that I did not expect from him: Mozart. A piece that I knew well—Piano concerto no. 27—which I had studied for a music class. I raised an eyebrow at him; he just smiled and shook his head, as if that action dismissed any queries.

I carefully made my way to the empty couch—Emmett and Rosalie were on one; Alice and Jasper on the other—and sat down. I gestured for Edward to do the same.

For some twenty minutes, we made small talk. I stood up to go and make sure the meatloaf hadn't spontaneously combusted or anything, but cried out in pain. "Argh! Ouch, fuck!"

Everyone stared at me—except Emmett, who rested his hands on Rosalie's belly. "Language! Child in the room!"

This caused a round of laughter from everyone in the room, including me, though my laughter was more of a "her, ha, hah, her…" because I was in so much pain.

I limped out of the room. Stupid foot cramps. Stupid shoes!

Not to my great surprise, the meatloaf wasn't inside out on the walls of the oven. Good, Edward wasn't planting a meatloaf bomb.

Edward followed me into the kitchen. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing here?" Oh, that came out wrong. "I mean—"

"The committee sent me. Alice and Jasper were… otherwise engaged. And Emmett's a little caught up with Rose and the baby."

"I think it's sweet." I smiled. "Yeah, anyway, I was just about to check for meatloaf bombs and then I got cramp in my foot so that's why—"

He cut me off. "Meatloaf bombs?"

I shrugged. "You might be trying to sabotage my cooking." I stated, and closed the oven.

Edward snorted. "Now why on earth would I do that?"

"Because I'm a terrible cook, and you didn't want to run the risk of poisoning but made that point as subtle as possible?"

His eyes narrowed. "Damn, you foiled my master plan."

"I'm smarter than the average bear," I said, tapping my nose and walked out of the kitchen, trying to look sophisticated. I tripped. "STUPID SHOES!"

Edward chuckled and followed me into the lounge. Alice and Jasper pulled away from what was obviously a heated kiss, judging by the blush on Em and Rose. I smirked at them and sat back down on the couch. Edward joined me and we all engaged in small talk again. "So," I said, trying to be a good hostess. "What's everyone doing for Christmas?"

This would be the first Christmas Rosalie and Emmett weren't going abroad. Rosalie was due on New Year's Day, so obviously they wouldn't risk leaving the county—not that they _could_, anyway.

"We're staying with my parents," Emmett told me whilst wrapping an arm around Rose, making it obvious who 'we' were.

I nodded at the pair before turning past Alice and Jasper—who had started kissing again—and looked to Edward. He looked up at me with those pensive eyes, "I… uh, I dunno."

"You don't _know_?" I repeated. "How can you not know what you're doing on Christmas day?!"

Alice and Jasper had pulled away from each other now; Alice raised her eyebrows at me and moved her head forwards in a sharp gesture. I cocked an eyebrow at her.

Edward's breathing became a little haggard. He looked back up at me with a forced smile. He let out a breath that I didn't realise he was holding, "A lot's happened this year… I haven't really thought about Christmas yet."

I wanted to press for further information; I didn't know why, but I was so _drawn_ to Edward. But, my moral compass—or what was left of it—told me not to, and to just keep my mouth shut. I muttered an 'oh' and nodded.

He could tell I wasn't entirely satisfied with his answer, but I didn't expect him to elaborate. "My family, like I've mentioned, used to live in Chicago. I moved back to Alaska when I was nineteen. Last Christmas, they all came up to Alaska to surprise me for the holidays… Th-the plane crashed."

He dropped his gaze midway through the explanation and stared at his hands. I felt the urge to wrap my arms around him, but fought it and muttered an "oh".

He looked up at me with a forced smile. "So I guess I don't know about Christmas yet…" He let out a timid, nervous laugh. "Um," he tried to change the subject. "So what are you doing this Christmas?"

"I'm with Jazz and Al," I told him, smiling. This would be the first Christmas I wasn't spending with my parents, and if I was honest, the prospect seemed a little strange. Christmas was supposed to be a time for family. I shook away the thought, starting back to reality.

"Oh my gosh, Edward," Alice gushed. "Why don't you stay with us for Christmas?"

Jazz and I looked expectantly at Edward—Em and Rose had engaged in small talk. Edward turned a delicate pink and smiled. "I wouldn't want to be a bother."

"Psh!" Alice scoffed. "We'd love to have you at ours. And hey, you could get to know Bella a little better…" She grinned suggestively.

Damned Alice and her strange way of knowing when I liked a guy. I say 'like'… I was _infatuated_ with this guy.

I was slightly—well, very—taken aback when Edward's smile widened and he complied, "I'd love to," He looked me in the eyes. There it was again—that connection. I felt myself loosing grip on reality and falling into those eyes of his; I could gaze into those eyes forever. Of course, there were other things I'd rather be doing to Edward, but that would just be out of the question. "That is," his voice snapped me out of the trance I was stuck in. "If you don't mind."

Alice looked at Jasper, who nodded, before the pair looking at me. "You don't mind, do you Bella?" Alice asked me, cocking her head to an angle.

I smirked despite the glare I was attempting to give Alice. "It would be great." I stated in a flat, monotonous drone.

I looked up at the clock as the others employed small talk again. I gathered from both the smell that drifted from the kitchen and the time that I had put the meatloaf in the oven, that I had about twenty minutes until we served up. I decided to check the food first and garlic up the bread before setting the table.

I was just wrapping the bread in tin foil when I felt a gaze on my back, so I turned to inspect as to who it was. Of course, I felt my heart sink a little when it wasn't Edward; Emmett stood there with that foolish toothy grin on his face.

"Bella my good woman," His voice boomed. "Can I help you in any way?"

I put the foil wrapped bread on the tray and shut the oven. "Um… No. I just garlic'd up that butter, then buttered up that bread… Hence garlic bread."

"Well, now I know the fundamentals of garlic bread making… Thank you Bella. I'll retain that info for future reference." Thick sarcasm laced into his tone.

I rolled my eyes, "Grab those plates." I told him, picking up the folded table cloths and placemats. I set of into the hallway, past the lounge and into the dining room. I unfolded the white cloth and hid the mahogany surface with the plain white fabric. I took the pale green table runner and lined it up in the centre. I lay down the mats and Emmett put down the plates for me. I mumbled my thanks and sauntered into the kitchen again. I got the glasses and the cutlery and lay them down appropriately.

I looked down at my watch; I had about five minutes. I went into the lounge to tell the others to go sit at the table, and then ambled back to the kitchen. I turned the oven to a very low heat and planned a started. I called through—"Soup or salad?"—and got the unanimous vote of salad.

As I prepared salad for my guests, I thought. I thought about what Alice knew—such suggestive movements. Was I really _that_ easy to read? Sure, I had a tendency to blush a heck of a lot more around Edward, but I blush a lot anyway… right?

I shook my head at myself, trying to shake away the thought. What was the point? I _did_ like Edward, but then again, how could anyone not like such a freakin' hot guy? A hot guy with a past, with feelings… not just one of those crummy guys that are about as deep as a puddle.

Of course, all this thinking was in vain. Sure, I liked Edward, but that would get me nowhere! And I sure wasn't going to let Alice force me into making the first move _again_, especially after last time…

Ugh.

I pushed the thoughts out of my head as I made my way through to the dining room. I placed the bowl of salad on the table, along with the servers and made my way back into the kitchen. I turned the heat off in the oven and joined the others at the table. The only solitary seat was at the head, with Alice and Edward at my flanks.

We said grace—_Emmett_ said grace—a simple, memorised prayer. The dreaded small talk returned as we tucked into salad. Alice was still swooning over a pair of shoes that she wanted, hinting for Jasper to get them _oh so subtly._ Rosalie and Emmett were too wrapped up in preparing for the baby that they didn't talk much about Christmas presents. I cut into the conversation with Alice and Jasper, commenting about past presents we'd had. Edward just sat silent courteously throughout the entire conversation.

When everyone else had finished the starter, I totted off to the kitchen to take the meatloaf out of the low heated oven.

Or that's what I thought. As soon as I got into the doorway, I saw smoke spilling out of the brim of the oven door. _Shit_!

I grabbed the dishcloth off the table and fanned at the smoke forced its way out of the oven. I pulled it open and fell into a fit of coughs. The oven had not only not been turned down, but turned onto _full _heat for another twenty minutes. I turned the stupid knob the wrong way. And now… fire. Meatloaf was on fire.

I was kind of acting on instinct, so I didn't—and still don't—have a clue why I did what I did. There was an audible hiss as my skin hit the dish the meatloaf was in. I snatched my hand back and held it in my hand. I let out a cry as I nursed my right hand. Looking back at the blackened, smoking dish, my brow furrowed. My hand hurt far too much for me to be able to lift it out of the oven, but I couldn't just leave it there.

"Um… Can someone help me in here please?" I called through with more concern than anything else in my voice.

I heard some murmurs before anyone came in. Alice stood opposite me, inspecting my hands—I was grateful for the temperature of her chilly skin—as Edward pulled out the alit meatloaf and dropped it on the stove.

Bad idea.

The fire only grew bigger with more room and caught onto the curtains over the kitchen window. I flinched my hands back from Alice's slight grasp and grabbed the phone off the kitchen counter, about to dial 911.

"Open a goddamn window!" I coughed. Jasper took the phone from me and set it back on the receiver. In the mean time, Alice grabbed me by my good hand and pulled me upstairs toward the bathroom. She filled the basin with cool water and made me rest my hand in it. The water _was_ soothing, though pain was still jabbing and twanging at my hand, forming blisters. I let out a slight whimper at the force of the tap gushing against my burnt skin.

"I ruined dinner." I stated quietly, more to myself than anything else.

"Nonsense," Alice chided, shutting off the taps. "I should have helped."

"Alice, I took on dinner so there _wouldn't_ be any fires." I snorted.

The panging in my hand was starting to slow, but skin was separating layer by layer. I lifted my hand out of the water and inspected it. It was reddened and blistered, and the tips looked terrible. Layers of skin were pulling away from the nail and exposing the flesh beneath it—I couldn't look at my hand without wanting to gag.

I dropped them back in the water. "I think I might need to get these checked out."

She glanced at the peeling skin, "Yeah,"

Alice tried to keep her glances away from my hands then onward. If I was honest, they did look hideous in their current swollen, bloated red state. I kept my eyes on Alice's as we spoke. Talking did take my mind off of the harsh stabbing pain in my hand, but it never went away.

"Did Edward have gloves on when he took the meatloaf out of the oven?" I asked her, breaking an awkward silence.

Alice shook her head, "No. Christ; that must have hurt. I'll go check on him." With that, she left.

I looked around the bathroom for things that I might want to hide. I hadn't had time to tidy in here today, so I had confined people to the downstairs bathroom. Of course, I'd cleaned, but after my shower I left towels draped around the room. Picking up random towels and putting away cleaning products was actually a very slow, laborious job one-handed.

Alice returned into the room… with Edward in toe. I noticed a small smile play on my lips as I closed the cabinet and emptied the water in the sink and replaced it with fresher water. With my good hand, I inspected the tips of Edward's fingers. I nearly fainted at the sight—the _smell _of the blood and cringed away, just guiding his hands toward the basin.

"How's the fire? We probably should have gone outside… I'm not good with fires. I've never really experienced one before; I didn't know what to do—" Alice was cut off by Edward putting up a mutilated finger. My head flinched backward and I tried not to look at his hands, staring into his eyes instead.

"It's under control. The meatloaf kind of ended up in the hedge though… Sorry Bella." He looked at me with his pleading eyes, almost as if he was truly sincere about saving my kitchen from oblivion.

I smirked. "You threw my food out of the window? Now what are we supposed to eat?"

He threw a sideward glance at the door, which Alice had just shut behind her. "Her."

I snorted. "I'm not eating Alice."

"It'd be fun!" He enthused. For a fraction of a second, the thought of resorting to cannibalism wasn't so bad. Not a great idea, but I hadn't eaten at all today (due to Alice dragging me out at the crack of dawn to buy last minute presents) and I was hungry. And hey, Alice looked tasty.

I shook my head. I was _not_ going to eat Alice. If I was going to eat anyone—

No. Cannibalism is bad. It's illegal. Damned Edward.

"It's either that, or you retrieve your singed meatloaf from the lawn." His velvety voice snapped me out of his trance.

"Mmm," I muttered, more aware of the strangest details: this was the only room in the house without Christmas decorations up; it's not like we hadn't gotten around to it (Alice had decorated every room in the house on December first, while I was out buying her presents), but the thought of having Santa watch you on the crapper was a scary one.

I let out a quiet laugh at that realisation, earning a pointed glance from Edward. I just shook my head hoping he'd ignore me. "How's your hand?" I questioned.

"Oh," He smiled. "Uh, better." He lifted it out of the water. Granted, it had stopped bleeding, but I couldn't look at those mutilated fingers.

"Dude, we're gonna have to get you to a hospital." I mused, more to myself.

Edward shrugged. "I'll be okay."

My mouth fell open. "Edward, you _have_ to get that checked out!"

He shrugged again, mumbling something I didn't hear.

Alice walked back into the bathroom with out coats. "Come on you two. Let's fix your fingers."

I smiled and grabbed my coat. "Edward," I started, hesitantly. He looked up. "Can you sit in the back of the car? Nothing personal; I'm just not good with injuries."

Edward simply smiled and nodded at me, following Alice and me out to the car. We didn't talk much on the journey; there were my apologies for having 'broke the dinner', but the others hardly let me finish what I was saying before they forgave me again.

In the waiting room, we were equally silent. Alice had to separate Edward and I, because I feared fainting at the sight of the now dry blood on Edward's hands.

When the doctor called my name, I shot my head up and nearly fell backward. The doctor was tall, about six foot two, blonde haired and blue eyed, and stunningly beautiful.

I got up and walked into the room where he held the door open for me. He motioned that I should lie on the examination bed, so I sat on the edge.

"I'm Doctor Cullen," He told me in a flat tone, as if he'd over-rehearsed it now. "Isabella…" He looked down at his clipboard.

"Bella." I corrected for him. And also, _Cullen_?! Wasn't that _Edward_'_s_ last name? I nearly fell over.

"Okay, _Bella_, what's happened to you?" He looked up to me, smiling.

I blushed. "I took a dish of meatloaf—that was on fire, by the way—out of the oven without any gloves."

His mouth fell open with a little pop. "Wha-What? Why? Why the hell weren't you wearing gloves?"

I shrugged. "I do some odd things."

The doctor shook his head. "I assumed so," He stood and held his hands out—not _gingerly_, but with caution. "Can I look at your hands now?"

I smiled back up at him. "Hand," I corrected, letting go of my right hand, holding it up to him.

He fingered along the burns very lightly, and for once, I was happy to find a doctor with cold hands. His fingers were soothing, despite making me wince when he traced a part of my skin that was too sensitive.

"Sorry," he muttered when I let out a hiss.

I shook my head, forcing a smile. "It's your job."

He stopped tracing the burns on my hands and sat back in his chair. "I'll obviously refer you to the burns clinic. Don't worry, the wait is shorter there." He smiled to himself. "Um, so they'll dress your hand properly and give you appropriate redressing for future purposes."

I nodded as he gave me directions to the burns division of the hospital. At the end, he asked me if I 'got it', and I tried _very_ hard to repeat what he said. In the end, he sent me with a nurse to the ward.

When I got there, I met Edward, sitting on the bed opposite me, Alice stood behind him. "Fancy seeing you here…" He mused sarcastically.

"Yeah, long time no chat." I retorted. As the woman in front of me wrapped different bandages around different fingers, Edward and I kept up a chat—it occupied our minds better, and it meant that I didn't have to think about the second-degree burns that I had just developed.

The nurse gave me instructions on how to redress my burns, if they needed it, and also how to help Edward—who _would_ need it. We walked down the corridor in the hospital, laden with our bandaged fingers, when I asked him if his adoptive father worked here.

He replied at first with a smile. "You're observant, aren't you?" I blushed and looked out of the window, searching for a distraction.

"You didn't answer my question…" I murmured.

He smiled once again. "Yes, Carlisle works here. Why?"

"Oh," I began, not quite sure of the answer. "Just curious. You shared a surname with the doctor in the ER."

"That's Carlisle," He clarified for me. We had stopped walking now; waiting for Alice to catch up to us (she went to grab a cup of coffee from the machine).

I turned and looked Edward in those emerald eyes again. They were like portals to his soul; I could see into his very being by looking into his eyes. I was pretty sure that, after my day of knowing him, I could tell if he was lying or not by looking into his eyes.

I broke the gaze again, not quite ready for another round of that electric current; I was so tired now, and hungry—it'd probably knock me out. I looked down, left, right, to the ceiling—oh.

Directly above us was a small stem of mistletoe. I fixed my eyes on it, until Edward looked up too. A small smile escaped on his lips, and another emotion panged through his eyes—was that… relief?

He brought his own head back down, joining me at the happy medium that is eye-level. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

He brought his face much closer to my own, and I don't think I could describe the feeling in my head if I tried. Mostly, the thoughts that occupied me were along the lines of, "Oh my gosh. Edward Cullen is going to kiss me. Edward Cullen!"

The texture of his lips hitting my own wasn't the first think I noticed. It was that damned current again. So much stronger this time, and I urged for it to last. But, as soon as it began, he pulled away, leaving me slightly speechless.

My mind how had the time to process what had just happened. Edward Cullen, the guy I'd been fantasising over for a day had just kissed me. Brief as it was, I loved every fraction of a second of it.

I needed more.

And today, I was feeling oddly confident.

As if with the click of a finger, I lifted my left hand to his head and weaved my fingers through his hair, whilst pulling my face closer to his. When our lips met again, the electricity was back and I smiled into the kiss. I opened my mouth around his quickly, daring to poke my tongue out and run it over his bottom lip. His own lips parted slightly, so I pulled back as to not pull off his face, never breaking contact. He pushed his own tongue out and traced my top lip, making me almost faint with the feeling it bestowed upon me.

_I'm kissing Edward Cullen._ The words circled in my head over and over as our kiss deepened. He was still licking my lip across when he dragged his tongue up and over, into my parted lips. I pulled my teeth apart as to allow him entrance. He pushed his tongue further into my mouth—not with force, but with a gentle, almost loving nature.

And by god, when he did that I almost fainted.

His hands were very lightly pressed against the small of my back—lightly, I assume, because of the wounds he'd just received. He pressed his tongue to the back of my top lip, sucking on it. I had to admit—most of my kisses with previous boyfriends weren't this… amazing. My mind went almost blank and I struggled to think of what to do next. My body just reacted on instinct, however, and I began to suck on his bottom lip. Our mouths seemed to fit together perfectly, and I just loved the warmth that radiated off his face. I smiled into his kiss, resting my hands on his shoulders. We remained that was for a while, only breaking away for air every so often. Until—

"Am I interrupting something?"

I pulled away from Edward with a start, looking over his shoulder to see Alice. My face seemed to catch fire as I pulled my hands from Edward. He looked shocked, not knowing why I pulled away with such a force. I smiled at his expression; he looked like a lost puppy.

"I'll see you in the car, Alice." I stated, looking at Edward.

She shook her head, walking toward us. "No, _He'll_ see us in the car. I need to talk to you…"

I rolled my eyes at her 'subtle' enthusiasm, and followed her out of the door. My face never lost the blush—I'm sure I was stained this beetroot colour forever now—but I did somehow manage to flush an even darker red when Alice started talking.

"Oh. My. God,"

I smirked down at Alice, knowing the same words would escape my lips if I dared to speak.

"You just—but you only—and he—?"

I simply nodded with the smirk refusing to leave still plastered onto my face.

"Oh my _god_!" Alice squealed, pulling me into a hug. Then the taunting began. "So Bella's got a thing for Edward, has she…?"

I shushed her with a grin forming on my face. "Alice, I'm a bit of a traditionalist. And there was mistletoe."

"Hey, does that rule apply all year round or just at Christmas?" Alice mused, more to herself than to me.

My blush started to fade as my confidence took over. "…All year round."

Alice quirked an eyebrow, "Really?"

"I dunno," I shrugged. "But a girl can hope." My mind was telling me to change the subject, and as much as my heart was thriving on the conversation, I decided I'd do the clever thing. "So how'd the fire get sorted out?"

"Oh you know, Jazzy was there," Alice looked straight ahead; her eyes glazed over as she wandered off into her fantasies.

I had to admit, I tried not to think much about what Jasper did for a job. I knew he was a fire fighter, but I tried to block out thoughts of him…_ endangering_ his life so often. It was an amazing job, really; he was saving people every day from the most dangerous situations, risking his own life in the process.

I still tried to think of other things, though. Jasper was Alice's everything. He was a noble, loyal and kind friend to me. I had often shared my worries with him, knowing that he'd listen and tell me his honest opinion. The thought of him being killed in a tragic accident, trying to save someone else… it was terrifying. I tried as little to think about it, knowing that even the prospect was enough to give me nightmares.

I was snapped out of my reverie by a very smug looking Edward leaning against Alice's car. I shook my head and opened his door for him. He climbed in but went to the other side of the backseat, pulling me down with him. I let out a high-pitched 'whoop!' as Alice shut the door behind me.

So it had been an odd day… a beautifully twisted day. I didn't know what I had with Edward, but I was looking forward to finding out.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." He whispered, pulling a stem of mistletoe out of his pocket and holding it above our heads. I looked up at the white flower, beaming. I pecked Edward on the lips and picked up where we left off in the hospital—that is, however, until Alice interrupted again.

"Keep it PG, folks." She was eyeing us up via her rear view mirror. She winked at me, whilst I shook my head back at her.

"Keeping it PG, Ali. Keeping it PG."

I lifted my feet up so that I could do my seatbelt up. The back of Alice's car, while glamorous, was cramped. I ended up lifting my knees below my chin, hugging my legs as I smiled at Edward.

We went over a pothole, I guess. I jumped out of my seat and landed back down with a thud and a 'tss' noise. My eyes followed the sound, and they widened as my jaw fell to the ground. My shoes had pierced Alice's upholstery.

"Stupid shoes!" I cried, muffled by apologies.

*******

**A/N:** So the ending isn't so great. And when I first started to write this, I gave myself an absolute maximum of 5 pages. I'm on my nineteenth. Ah well.  
Loved it? Hated it? Let me know, please, PLEASE review.

~Tasha.


	2. ROUND TWO :D

**AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!**

**I'm in round two!**

**When I started this… in December… it wasn't going to go anywhere. But look at me now! Round two!**

**Thank you to everyone that voted for Stupid Shoes; you've really made my day. You're the best.**

**While I'd love to get into the final round, I don't see it happening with all the stiff competition that I'm up against. However, I would be eternally grateful if you were to continue voting for my story.**

**Voting starts 29th June 09, in the form of a poll on Bronzehairedgirl620's profile.**

**Thanks again!**

**-Tasha.**

_(PS: I will be continuing this as soon as I'm booted off ;) EPOV or continuation? I won't do both, people. Let me knoooooow :D) _


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